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Why Do I Have Difficulty Ejaculating and What Can I Do About It?

Updated: 1 hour ago

A frustrated man sits on the edge of the bed as his partner looks on in the background after he had difficulty ejaculating

Some men can't reach ejaculation with their partners at all while others take a significantly longer amount of time or effort. Here are some of the common causes of delayed ejaculation and how sex therapy may be able to help you.

Key takeaways:

  • Difficulty climaxing is not a gender-specific problem; it can happen to anyone.

  • Approximately 1 to 4% of men have difficulty ejaculating.

  • Some people are more at risk of delayed ejaculation due to aging or health history but it can affect anyone.

  • Delayed ejaculation can have physical or psychological causes.

  • Sex therapy can help.

Having difficulty climaxing isn’t a gender-specific problem. Delayed ejaculation or difficulty ejaculating is the primary sexual problem some people face. Some men don’t orgasm at all due to erectile dysfunction.

Delayed ejaculation affects approximately 1 to 4% of men in the United States. Whether or not you see delayed ejaculation as an issue depends on how it’s affecting you, and your partner, if you have one. Some individuals enjoy taking a long time to climax, but if living with this issue causes you distress, then you should definitely seek the guidance of a professional.

Who experiences difficulty ejaculating?

Unfortunately, anyone can be affected by delayed ejaculation. Some people suffer with it for their whole lives. Still, others only experience it occasionally or when they get older. Here are some factors that can increase the likelihood of difficulty with ejaculation:

  • Aging

  • A history of bladder or prostate surgery

  • Mental health or relationship distress

  • Having health issues like diabetes or multiple sclerosis

  • A history of stroke(s)

  • A history of spinal cord injuries

  • Taking medications such as drugs for psychosis, depression, pain, or high blood pressure

Difficulty with ejaculation might happen when you’re masturbating, or when you’re having sex with a partner. If it appears to be situational, meaning it only happens in certain situations, like during partner sex, it could have a psychological cause.

Common causes of delayed ejaculation

There are many reasons you might be experiencing difficulty ejaculating. The issue may be physical or psychological in nature. Here are some of the more common causes.

Physical causes can include:

  • A blockage in your penis

  • Hypothyroidism

  • Aging

  • Alcohol use

  • Use of prescription or street drugs

  • Nervous system damage, such as that sustained after a spinal cord injury, stroke, diabetes

Psychological causes include:

  • Sexual performance anxiety

  • Addiction to pornography

  • Guilt about sex (possibly due to how you were raised)

  • Relational issues, such as being angry or uncomfortable with your partner

  • Fear of getting your partner pregnant, hurting them, or fear of disease

  • Stress

This issue might be caused by a combination of both physical and psychological challenges. It’s important to remember that there’s nothing wrong with you and you’re whole as you are – and that there’s help available.

When should I see my doctor?

When to see a doctor for difficulty ejaculating

When there are issues with delayed ejaculation, you should see your healthcare provider to help rule out any potential medical issues. See your healthcare provider if:

  • This has been a lifelong problem for you

  • It’s new for you and has lasted six months or longer

  • It’s causing issues for your or your partner

Some medications that have shown promise in treating this problem. If no medical cause is found that can explain your issue, don’t despair. Your doctor may recommend that you attend sex therapy to help remedy the issue.

What is sex therapy?

Sex therapy can be helpful if you’re struggling with reaching completion. Sex therapy is a form of talk therapy that helps address a range of concerns like sexual identity, intimacy challenges, and even sexual trauma. Its goal is to help you explore your sexuality in a safe space with a highly trained professional.

Sex therapists undergo specialized training to deal effectively with these challenges. Some of the many areas they help address include:

  • Performance anxiety

  • Sexual dysfunction

  • Body image issues

  • Sexual addiction

  • Sexual wellness

  • Alternative lifestyles

Attending sex therapy may sound unappealing at first, but you’ll be far more uncomfortable if you continue your life being unsatisfied sexually. You deserve to have a satisfying sex life.

Sex is Emotions in Motion - Mae West

Sex therapy can help you

When you attend sex therapy, a therapist will work with you to come up with treatment goals. These may be goals like:

  • Identifying the root cause of what’s causing your sexual concerns

  • Addressing stigma, shame, or fear you have about sex

  • Learning how to improve intimacy with your partner

  • Exploring sexual identity and orientation

  • Healing from sexual abuse and/or trauma

  • Becoming confident in your sexuality and sexual abilities

Finding a therapist that you trust and feel safe with is crucial to healing your challenges in the bedroom. Feel free to look for another if you don’t feel comfortable with the first one you choose.

Get support from a qualified sex therapist in Coral Gables.

sex therapist in Coral Gables

Difficulty ejaculating can have a huge impact on your mental health and put a damper on your sex life. Getting support from the right professionals creates a shift. Attending sex therapy can help you explore the causes behind your difficulty ejaculating -- and help you start to enjoy a fulfilling, satisfying sex life.

The team at Love Discovery is ready to welcome you with open arms. If you’re ready to get started in therapy to help facilitate healing within yourself and your interpersonal relationships, make an appointment with any of our therapists today. Feeling hesitant about how we can help? Call 305.605.LOVE (5683) for a consultation.


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