Learning how to bridge the gap and solve communication problems will create a safe space to discuss and share your world.
The number one problem facing couples is in their communication style. Couples who can learn to improve in this area can get through 90% of their relational conflicts.
Couples Dealing with Communication Problems
"We can't communicate with each other" is probably the number one complaint of most couples' experience in a relationship. When they finally decide to enter couples therapy, at least one and often both individuals have reached the tipping point. They may have reached their limit of how many relationship disagreements they can handle. Also, they may have acknowledged that the relationship will not be able to move forward without support. The underlying issue can be about many different things, including parenting, sex, money, values, or priorities. However, the result is generally the same — tense, frustrating moments for both individuals. Many couples don't even remember what half the fights are about. They feel like communicating with their partner seems impossible or even toxic at times.
Why is it Important to Address Communication Problems?
Communication challenges can be a significant factor in relationship struggles and general discontent in a couple's life. When communication turns to conflict, individuals in a relationship start to experience and build anger, resentment, rejection, and frustration. Over time, these emotions can turn into the disintegration of love and intimacy. On the other end, some individuals may avoid discussing issues that may lead to festering emotions, inaccurate assumptions, secrecy, deception, or distance.
We often see one partner in a relationship experiences difficulty but fails to communicate what they are feeling. This can cause their partner to feel hurt or shut out. Also, emotional and psychological issues that stem from early childhood relationships, previous romantic relationships, or other areas of life may cause emotional distress in their current relationship.
It is essential to identify and address communication problems if you want to save your relationship.
Identifying Toxic Communication / Common Signs of Problems:
There are several ways to recognize signs of toxic communication in your relationships. One or both partners may be engaging in communication barriers that can be detrimental to their relationship. We have outlined some of the most common communication problems to look for in your relationship:
Tone of voice - Every human being on Earth wants to be respected. Do you find that either you or your partner raise their voice a lot when you guys are in a disagreement? Yelling directly at your partner can hurt their self-esteem and seriously threatens the relationship.
Toxic words - If you and your partner find yourselves consistently saying harmful or degrading words to each other, this is a sign of serious toxic communication. The words that you use during communication have a direct and profound impact on the health of your relationship.
Poor Non-verbal Communication – We often think of communication to what is said. However, approximately 80% of our communication is non-verbal. This includes our expressions, our silence, or the way our bodies may “talk” to others.
Poor Listening Skills – Most individuals fail to listen and instead use the time to prepare for their own answer. Listening skills are essential to effective communication. They not only allow us to understand our partner, but also us to validate them for their feelings.
Zero communication - If you and your partner are having so many problems that you have simply stopped communicating at all, that is a problem all on its own. Not talking to one another will create space and distance between you two.
Excessive Communication - If you or your partner are consistently saying things to each other in a state of anger that add absolutely zero value to your relationship, that is another sign of toxic communication.
Communicate to Build Intimacy:
Learning how to communicate about deeper concerns is an essential component to building relational trust and intimacy. When individuals in a relationship can freely express their thoughts, feelings, and desires in a non-judgmental space, they let the other partner into their inner world. When the other partner can listen and provide the necessary space for their partner, they can create intimacy even when they can't agree. Partners often get upset when the other partner disagrees. However, the key to an effective connection does not depend on the matter but rather how they share and receive information. Communication is essentially the medium to seeing, talking, and understanding each other. When couples learn how to create a bridge, they extend their hearts and make a space to feel heard, seen, and validated.
Can Couples Therapy Improve Our Communication?
Couples therapy has proven to be highly beneficial in helping couples overcome communication problems. A well-trained therapist can help provide the tools a couple needs to move past their gridlocks. Therapists provide an independent and non-biased stance to help the couple find mutual ground from which to communicate from. They help the couple effectively understand their emotions and tie them to the situation, not the other person. This helps foster curiosity and a greater sense of understanding. Eventually this can help promote how the couple is experiencing each other as empathy, care, and compassion begin to surface. Therapists take on several approaches and often implement strategies using the Gottman Method, Imago Relational Therapy (IRT), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT), eclectic modalities, and other techniques.
What Can My Partner and I expect in Couples Therapy:
You and your partner will find a safe and non-judgmental space where you can both learn how to explore each other's worlds effectively.
Identify core issues that may be preventing you from sharing each other's inner worlds.
Help you and your partner identify unhealthy communication patterns and teach you how to break free from those patterns.
Learn how to use practical tools that you can implement in your relationship.
Learn how to create an open environment where you can listen to each other's hearts.
Develop and learn how to communicate healthier boundaries.
How Long will it take for us to improve our communication problems?
Couples struggling with communication can improve their communication style after several sessions. However, most couples need more time to break away from their typical communication themes. Most couples have adopted several styles of communication in order to protect themselves from the perceived attacks of others. This can vary from person to person, but we generally recommend that couples allow for a few months of therapy before they can really identify how their communication styles contributes to destructive communication patterns. During this time, therapists may help the couple understand how these patterns have persisted for many years and how to best formulate healthier ways of communication.
Effective communication between partners is typically considered a necessary aspect of a healthy and loving relationship. When communication problems occur in relationships, our team of trained experts can help. Our therapists will address the issues and assist you in exploring any underlying causes. They will also teach you tools to navigate pressing issues and feel closer to one another.
Are you Ready To Start Improving Your Communication?
If you and your partner are struggling with your communication, don't wait for your relationship to continue to deteriorate further. Start improving the quality of your relationship today by booking an appointment with one of our expert therapists.
Ponce de Leon
In the ♥ of the Gables
Visit us at our Ponce de Leon location, right in the heart of beautiful Coral Gables. This location is literally steps away from amazing area restaurants, coffee shops and boutiques. Easy and secure access with parking garage for your convenience.
Visit us at the Carillon Miami Beach Resort and Spa, where we can take advantage of the beautiful resort spaces, including outside areas, gardens, beach, or in the privacy of our office. After your session, enjoy the rest of your day at the spa, on us. Valet parking included.