Stress is a major cause of low libido. Stress reduction techniques like yoga and meditation can help you relax so you can get in the mood to have sex. But, did you know that you can use meditation and mindfulness practices to help you orgasm? Here’s how.
Difficulty orgasming affects people of all genders, but women are affected more often.
Cultural issues about sex and societal pressures placed on women may drive internalized ideas about sex and shame that make it hard for women to embrace their erotic selves and enjoy sex and pleasure freely.
Mindfulness has been shown to have multiple health benefits; sexual health may be among them.
Being able to disconnect from distractions and connect with your body and the sensations of the present moment can help you orgasm.
If you still have difficulty orgasming, sex therapy can help you explore it in a safe space with a qualified professional.
Having difficulty orgasming affects people of all genders, but it happens to women more often. Research has shown that heterosexual men orgasm 95% of the time while heterosexual women orgasm just over half the time. For the gay, lesbian, and bisexual communities, the numbers don’t show much variability.
The Cleveland Clinic reports that only 10% of women orgasm easily. Researchers have only in the last few years found that at least a third of young women have low sexual desire and arousal, while Viagra has been on the market for men for over two decades. Other research shows that women who come from cultures that aren’t sex-positive have higher rates of anorgasmia (inability to orgasm). This shows how our attitudes about sex may affect the outcomes – and our “O” – even behind closed doors.
Cultural issues could be to blame as well as the immense pressure society places on women to “have it all.” Having so much on your mind can definitely affect your sex drive and put a damper on your pleasure. It’s hard to be present in the moment and enjoy it when you’re thinking about your to-do list or parenting responsibilities, for example.
Mindfulness can help, though. Growing bodies of research have shown that mindfulness has many health benefits, including sexual. Here is how mindfulness can help you orgasm and several ways to do it.
Start a daily meditation practice
Consider starting a daily meditation practice to get better at learning how to enter a meditative state. Over time, the more you practice, the easier it will become.
There are many apps available that have guided meditations or you can find videos on YouTube to get you started. You can also practice “moving meditations” such as meditating while walking to start practicing body-based meditations.
Get in the habit of practicing mindfulness during other activities
Mindfulness is a practice and a skill. The more you practice, the better you’ll get. Practice moving through your day with mindfulness, whether it’s while eating, hitting the gym, showering, or anything else you engage in. Focus on the sensations, feelings, sights, sounds, smells, and experiences of the moment at hand.
It’s okay to get distracted; it’s totally normal for the mind to wander often, especially when first starting mindfulness. It’s your bounce-back rate that counts – being able to recognize that your mind has drifted from the present and bringing your awareness back to the now is what matters.
Don’t focus on your orgasm – Focus on your experience
This sounds counterintuitive, but hear it out. Performance anxiety can be a major driver of an inability to orgasm. When you’re hyper-focused on climaxing, it can make you feel stressed, pressured, and distracted instead of calm and relaxed. Instead, focus on the present moment and experience it as it comes (no pun intended) and chances are, as you allow yourself to enjoy it, you’ll find it easier to orgasm.
Masturbation sometimes gets a bad rap, especially female masturbation. It’s often stigmatized. The fact is, though, that masturbation is natural and healthy for you. It teaches you about your body, your likes, and your dislikes. It’s also a chance to mindfully connect with your body and explore.
Engage all your senses
It can be easy to disengage during sex and go on autopilot. During it, you may start thinking about your to-do list or other random thoughts – basically about anything except what’s happening right now, in the moment.
If this is happening, use a grounding exercise to orient yourself back to the present and back into your body by using your five senses. What can you see, smell, taste, touch, and hear?
Sex therapy can help
If you still struggle with orgasming, consider attending sex therapy. A sex therapist is a highly-trained professional with specialized training to help you explore your sexuality in a safe space. They can help address a range of concerns from sexual identity, intimacy challenges, and sexual trauma to difficulty orgasming.
Get support from a qualified, caring therapist in the South Florida area
Everyone deserves to have a satisfying, fulfilling sex life. Having the support from the right professionals can help you get that. Engaging in sex therapy can help you explore why you’re struggling to orgasm -- and help you have the sex life you’re longing to have.
The team at Love Discovery is ready to welcome you with open arms. If you’re ready to get started in therapy to help facilitate healing within yourself and your interpersonal relationships, make an appointment with any of our therapists today. Feeling hesitant about how we can help? Call 786.571.4636 for a free 20-minute consultation.
We are here to help you improve your mental health and support you through this tough time.