How Mindfulness Can Help You Orgasm – The Connection Between Mind and Body


A woman’s hand grips red sheets after learning how mindfulness can help you orgasm

Stress is a major cause of low libido. Stress reduction techniques like yoga and meditation can help you relax so you can get in the mood to have sex. But, did you know that you can use meditation and mindfulness practices to help you orgasm? Here’s how.

Key takeaways:

  • Difficulty orgasming affects people of all genders, but women are affected more often.

  • Cultural issues about sex and societal pressures placed on women may drive internalized ideas about sex and shame that make it hard for women to embrace their erotic selves and enjoy sex and pleasure freely.

  • Mindfulness has been shown to have multiple health benefits; sexual health may be among them.

  • Being able to disconnect from distractions and connect with your body and the sensations of the present moment can help you orgasm.

  • If you still have difficulty orgasming, sex therapy can help you explore it in a safe space with a qualified professional.

Having difficulty orgasming affects people of all genders, but it happens to women more often. Research has shown that heterosexual men orgasm 95% of the time while heterosexual women orgasm just over half the time. For the gay, lesbian, and bisexual communities, the numbers don’t show much variability.


The Cleveland Clinic reports that only 10% of women orgasm easily. Researchers have only in the last few years found that at least a third of young women have low sexual desire and arousal, while Viagra has been on the market for men for over two decades. Other research shows that women who come from cultures that aren’t sex-positive have higher rates of anorgasmia (inability to orgasm). This shows how our attitudes about sex may affect the outcomes – and our “O” – even behind closed doors.


Cultural issues could be to blame as well as the immense pressure society places on women to “have it all.” Having so much on your mind can definitely affect your sex drive and put a damper on your pleasure. It’s hard to be present in the moment and enjoy it when you’re thinking about your to-do list or parenting responsibilities, for example.


Mindfulness can help, though. Growing bodies of research have shown that mindfulness has many health benefits, including sexual. Here is how mindfulness can help you orgasm and several ways to do it.


Start a daily meditation practice


Consider starting a daily meditation practice to get better at learning how to enter a meditative state. Over time, the more you practice, the easier it will become.


There are many apps available that have guided meditations or you can find videos on YouTube to get you started. You can also practice “moving meditations” such as meditating while walking to start practicing body-based meditations.


Get in the habit of practicing mindfulness during other activities


Mindfulness is a practice and a skill. The more you practice, the better you’ll get. Practice moving through your day with mindfulness, whether it’s while eating, hitting the gym, showering, or anything else you engage in. Focus on the sensations, feelings, sights, sounds, smells, and experiences of the moment at hand.


It’s okay to get distracted; it’s totally normal for the mind to wander often, especially when first starting mindfulness. It’s your bounce-back rate that counts – being able to recognize that your mind has drifted from the present and bringing your awareness back to the now is what matters.


Don’t focus on your orgasm – Focus on your experience


This sounds counterintuitive, but hear it out. Performance anxiety can be a major driver of an inability to orgasm. When you’re hyper-focused on climaxing, it can make you feel stressed, pressured, and distracted instead of calm and relaxed. Instead, focus on the present moment and experience it as it comes (no pun intended) and chances are, as you allow yourself to enjoy it, you’ll find it easier to orgasm.


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