Trying an Alternative Lifestyle Can Bring You and Your Partner Closer


Three people in an alternative lifestyle walk arm-in-arm

Being honest about your fantasies can lead to greater intimacy and trust


Key takeaways:

  • Most people have sexual fantasies but may be afraid to share them with their partner

  • Sharing leads to greater closeness and trust

  • Polyamory and BDSM are well-known alternative lifestyles that have benefits

  • Couples should strongly consider therapy before engaging in an alternative lifestyle

Long-term relationships will always experience highs and lows and couples’ sex lives might follow the same ebb and flow. If you’re feeling disconnected from your partner, you might want to consider spicing things up in the bedroom.


Most people have sexual fantasies but they’re often afraid to share them with their partners. They might be afraid they’ll be judged or that their partner will be offended in some way. But, sharing your fantasies with your partner – and even ultimately acting on them – can help you establish an even deeper level of intimacy.


For example, one partner might be interested in polyamory or BDSM. Or, maybe the key to spicing up your sex life is as simple as changing your routine, wearing provocative clothing, or trying creative positions. Whatever you and your partner are into, exploring sexual fantasies together can be a great way to deepen your connection.


You might think sharing alternative lifestyle fantasies puts you in a vulnerable position, but it could be just the thing to spice up your relationship and deepen your connection with your partner. We discuss how trying an alternative lifestyle with your partner can deepen intimacy and trust and why seeing a therapist before or during this change is very important to make sure you’re both ready.


Alternative lifestyles


Polyamory is when an individual chooses to be physically or emotionally intimate with more than one person at a time. Sometimes, couples decide to date other people while remaining together or engage in casual sex with others while still maintaining their primary relationship. Couples may choose to switch partners to satisfy their sexual, mental, or emotional needs or to feel more connected to others. Non-monogamous lifestyles may also be referred to as swinging or “open relationships.”


BDSM refers to “a variety of sexual practices that involve bondage, dominance, and submission/sadomasochism.” This might include th