Finance and Marriage: How to Talk to Your Partner About Money

A happy couple talks about money with documents and a calculator in front of a laptop

Talking about money is usually one of the biggest challenges for couples. Here are the conversations you should be having, though, for a healthy relationship with each other and your finances.

Key Takeaways:

  • Money is one of the leading causes of conflict in relationships.

  • Developing financial intimacy is a skill that needs to be cultivated.

  • You and your partner need to talk about money.

  • It’s okay not to have all the answers and continue conversations with the appropriate professionals.

  • Once you’re in a partnership, you’re on the same team – your financial habits should reflect this.

There’s a romanticized idea that when it comes to love that money shouldn’t matter. That’s a myth, however, because in the real world, money matters –a lot. Fighting about finances is one of the leading causes of marital discontent, and one of the most often-cited reasons cited for divorces. When you enter a marriage or other serious partnership with someone, your households and lives are merged. What about your money?

Some questions to start with

While it may be tempting to avoid the subject altogether, this is how problems arise. Unspoken expectations, a lack of transparency, or even assumptions about finances can be a recipe for disaster.

Here are some questions to start with to help you and your partner get on the same page.

  • Are you comfortable with credit card debt?

  • What are your current debts?

  • What’s your plan to pay them off?

  • What are your long-term financial goals?

  • What’s your plan for retirement?

  • What are your current credit scores?

  • How much do you both have saved?