Breaking Down Your Walls After Infidelity


A couple discusses the infidelity in their relationship to a therapist in order to heal

Is it possible to come back from cheating?


Key takeaways:


  • Infidelity causes heartache and devastation that fractures the foundation of any marriage or relationship.

  • It is possible for a relationship to survive infidelity. It requires both partners to be committed to authentic healing without tearing each other down.

  • After infidelity, it’s important to take some time to heal, rebuilt trust, admit guilt, and learn how to forgive.

  • Some marriages become even stronger with deeper levels of intimacy and commitment after an affair.

  • Professional therapy can be an integral part of mending and healing a marriage or intimate relationship after infidelity.


For many couples who experience infidelity, it’s over as soon as the cheating partner gets caught or admits guilt. The cheated-on partner will often say something like “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out,” and the former couple parts ways never to connect again. Some couples, however, decide to take the journey back from infidelity together and choose to remain in the relationship. With patience, healing, and learning, they’re able to move forward as a couple, nurture their love for each other, and regrow a meaningful and healthy long-term relationship. We explain how you can come back from infidelity, begin to forgive your partner, and repair the relationship.


The definition of infidelity varies


When it comes to infidelity, the concept is not clearly defined by a single situation, and the idea of what constitutes it varies among couples. For example, one partner in a relationship may consider an emotional connection without physical intimacy infidelity, while the other partner considers this emotional unfaithfulness to be harmless. The partners in a committed relationship must define for themselves what signifies cheating.


The steps to Promote Healing


When people discover what they believe to be infidelity in a relationship, it’s normal to experience intense feelings of betrayal, despair, hopelessness, fear, and anger. Recovering from an affair is one of the most challenging things you can encounter in life. It is possible, though. Here are some tips to cope and recover:

  • Take some time to process the infidelity

Before deciding whether or not to continue your relationship, take the necessary time to heal and understand the circumstances behind the affair. This is not a rash decision to make at the height of emotional struggles. Give yourself some space to try and process your intense feelings. Avoid all social media and any emotionally draining discussions as you begin the healing process.