• Carolina Pataky

Consciously Dating in a Modern World



Like traditional dating, modern love has both its highs and lows. There are many ways in which modern love varies from conventional dating. Younger generations are becoming more open about their sexuality with every day that passes. Unlike traditional love, modern love is not subject to the confines of gender, race and age. Same-sex romantic relationships are becoming more popular among millennials day after day. It is also not uncommon for younger people to engage in casual relationships.


Even though the modern timeline allows individuals to indulge in relationships without limitations, most of these relationships do not last. It is because the people in this generation do not pay attention to habits and skills that serve as a foundation for a healthy relationship. Dating consciously is about improving one's negative traits that may affect the relationship and handle challenges in the relationship maturely and amicably.


Due to the increase in casual dating, it is easier to get hurt in the modern dating scenario. It is recommended that you date consciously to avoid getting hurt and hurting others. Here are a few tips to date consciously in this modern world:


Outline your expectations from the very beginning

Before getting too deep into a relationship, make an effort to discuss with your partner what the goals for the relationship are. It is crucial to determine that you are both on the same page. Tell your partner whether you want something casual or you are looking to establish a serious commitment. That is how you avoid finding yourself in "situationships."


Like attracts like

It is highly advised that you become the person you want to date. Whether you believe it or not, the law of attraction is powerful and manifests itself in everyone's life. The kind of energy you produce will attract people who have the same energy as you. If you are rude, there are very high chances that you attract a person who is just as rude as you are.


Quit ignoring red flags

When it comes to dating, everyone has their definition of red flags. We all have standards, likes and dislikes in the dating scenario. When you establish that the person you are dating is unwilling to respect your standards and preferences, it is time to pack your bags and leave! Stop hoping that they’ll change. That person is probably not meant for you.


Set practical standards

Everyone has the imagination of their dream person. It is normal to want a person that meets a certain number of specifications. However, this should not affect your real dating life. Ensure that your standards are realistic. Otherwise, you'll keep pushing potential partners away.


Take your time

There are dozens of people that are in unhealthy relationships at the moment; it is because they were quick to start dating. Dating and relationships are complex processes, and this is what most people fail to understand. Therefore, before indulging in any relationship, it is wise first to carry out your research on relationships. Spend a sufficient amount of time with the person you plan to date to understand how they perceive relationships, likes and dislikes. There is always more than what meets the eye, so take your time.


·Establish a balance between your feelings and rationality

Draw a clear line between your emotions and your thoughts. Love with your heart, but do not switch off your brain. This will ensure that you don't fall victim to sexual predators. Do not be afraid to be vulnerable, but make sure that you are rational at all times.


Keep away from all kinds of blame games

As stated earlier, there is always more than what meets the eye; we all have different opinions, convictions, and beliefs, which means there will be times where you disagree with your partner. Instead of indulging in blame games, which in most cases only make the matter worse, learn to listen to the other person and rationally explain your thoughts. Maturely discussing your issues helps keep your relationship stable and healthy. Though not an easy thing to do, learn to forgive and forget; human is to err, and thus, there is a likelihood that your partner may offend you even after asking for forgiveness, avoid holding on to grudges.


In conclusion, dating and relationships are among the most dynamic and controversial areas as new trends keep popping up; this means that the above guidelines are also proactive. Nonetheless, these guidelines will help to keep your relationship healthy, conscious, and stable. Be flexible and willing to learn new tips on a conscious relationship, always maintain high levels of rationality, be the best version of yourself while in the relationship and try always to understand your partner's point of view. With these and the above, you will be assured of a conscious, stable, and healthy relationship.

Co-founder of the Love Discovery Institute, Dr. Carolina Pataky is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Clinical Sexologist and Certified Sex Therapist. Recognized as one of South Florida’s leading authorities on intimacy, relationships and self-discovery. Her focus is to give individuals and couples of any sexual preference the tools to learn how to love themselves unconditionally, receive love, and create fulfilling and joyful relationships that will last a lifetime. Through private sessions, couples’ intensives and luxury retreats, she provides individual and couples coaching sessions, sex therapy, and psychotherapy practices that support clients through the journey of finding the right path to healthy love. Visit her website www.lovediscovery.org or follow @carolinapataky


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