Introduction Gaslighting is a serious issue that can have a devastating impact on a relationship. By being aware of the signs of gaslighting and you can take the necessary steps to protect yourself and your relationship. It is important to understand that gaslighting is not your fault and you deserve to have your reality validated. What is Gaslighting? Gaslighting is a form of emotional and psychological manipulation where one person makes another person question their own sanity or their own reality. This can include denying things they said or did, making their partner question or second-guess their memory of certain events, or creating doubt within their own judgment. It is a tactic used to gain power and control in a relationship, with the goal being the gaslighter overpowering and writing their desired narrative of the relationship. Gaslighting can be hard to spot, but it is important to be aware of it so that you can take steps to protect yourself and your relationship. Causes of Gaslighting in a Relationship Gaslighting can happen due to a number of factors. In some cases, the manipulator may have deep-seated insecurities or emotional issues that they are trying to cover up. In other cases, the manipulator may be trying to gain power and control in the relationship to make up for a lack of control they have experienced. In any case, gaslighting is an unhealthy and destructive behavior that should not be tolerated. There are several causes of gaslighting in relationships, including the need for control, insecurity, and a lack of empathy. • Need for Control One of the most common causes of gaslighting in relationships is a need for control. The person gaslighting wants to be in charge and manipulate the situation so that their partner becomes completely reliant on them and the narrative they orchestrate. This creates an imbalanced power dynamic where the gaslighter has complete control over the relationship. • Insecurity Insecurity can have an impactful role in gaslighting relationships. The gaslighter may be so unsure of themselves, questioning their own worth that they feel the need to constantly manipulate their partner to maintain their superiority. This can lead to a never-ending cycle of gaslighting and manipulation. • Lack of Empathy Lack of empathy also contributes to gaslighting in relationships. The gaslighter may not be capable of understanding their partner's experiences and feelings, which can lead them to manipulate the situation to suit their own needs. This lack of empathy can also result in a complete disregard for the well-being of their partner. These causes highlight the complex and harmful nature of gaslighting in relationships. It is important for individuals to be aware of these dynamics so they can better recognize and address this toxic behavior in their relationships. Signs of Gaslighting in a Relationship Gaslighting in a relationship can be difficult to detect, as the manipulation is usually subtle and gradual. Recognizing the signs of gaslighting is the first step in breaking free from this toxic behavior and ending the cycle. Common Examples of Gaslighting in a Relationship 1. Discrediting your thoughts and feelings One of the most common signs of gaslighting is your partner dismissing or invalidating your thoughts and feelings. They may tell you that you're overreacting or that you're remembering things wrong, or that your perceptions are inaccurate. 2. Blaming you for their behavior Another sign of gaslighting is when your partner blames you for their own behavior, decision, or actions. They may say that you're being too sensitive, or that they are acting a certain way in response to you, something you said, or something you did. 3. Isolating you from friends and family Gaslighters may try to isolate you from your friends and family, as they don't want anyone else to validate your experiences or challenge their manipulation. They may discourage you from spending time with others, or even go as far as to forbid you from seeing certain people. All of these behaviors have the sole purpose of creating self-doubt, making you question the accuracy of events as you remember them, second-guess your feelings and stick to the narrative being created for you. How Does Gaslighting Affect Relationships? Gaslighting in a relationship can have significant and lasting effects on both partners involved. Whether the gaslighting takes place in the short term or extends over a longer period of time, the impacts can be profound and damaging, nonetheless. • Short-Term Effects In the short-term, gaslighting can lead to confusion, anxiety, and a sense of powerlessness for the victim. You may struggle to trust your own perceptions and experiences, potentially causing you to question your own sanity. You may immediately feel isolated and alone, as you're separated from friends and family. These short-term effects can lead to emotional distress and psychological trauma. • Long-Term Effects Over time, the effects of gaslighting can be even more damaging. You may begin to struggle with low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness, which can have a lasting impact on your mental health. Additionally, the toxic dynamic in the relationship can lead to a complete loss of trust, making it difficult to trust others in future relationships. The long-term effects of gaslighting can also lead to depression, anxiety, and other mental health conditions. How to Stop Gaslighting in a Relationship Stopping gaslighting in a relationship can be challenging. With the right support and resources, it is possible. Here are some beneficial steps you can take to stop gaslighting and regain control of your life: 1. Acknowledge the behavior: Recognizing the toxic behavior, and its impact on you and accepting that it is indeed happening can be a difficult but important step in the process. 2. Seek support: Surround yourself with trusted friends and family who can support you and validate your experiences. Talking to a mental health professional or therapist can also be helpful, as they can provide you with the tools and resources you need to break free from the toxic dynamic. 3. Set boundaries: It's important to set clear boundaries and communicate them to your partner. Let them know that you won't tolerate gaslighting or any other toxic behaviors. 4. Work on self-care: Take care of your physical and emotional well-being by engaging in self-care activities like exercise, therapy, and spending time with supportive people. Building your self-esteem and confidence can help you to better stand up for yourself and resist gaslighting in the future. 5. Consider ending the relationship: In some cases, ending the relationship may be the best option for your well-being. This can be a difficult decision, but it's important to prioritize your own health and safety. These steps can help you to stop gaslighting in a relationship and regain control of your life. Remember that it's not your fault and that you don't have to go through this alone. With the right support, you can overcome gaslighting and build a healthier, happier life. Conclusion Experiencing gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation and can be subtle and insidious behavior. It can be difficult for the victim to identify and address this behavior with their partner. It is important to be aware of the signs of gaslighting and to trust your instincts if you suspect that your partner may be gaslighting you and to remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and have your reality validated. If you are in a gaslighting relationship, it is essential to seek the help and guidance you need in order to regain your sense of self-worth and trust in your own perceptions and narrative. The Love Discovery Institute is an elite emotional and cognitive wellness center that offers therapy for adults, children, and teens from licensed therapists. Our therapists understand people and emotions well and help them with significant stressors. If you feel like you are in a relationship dealing with gaslighting or emotional abuse, we are here to help and support you. The team at Love Discovery is ready to welcome you with open arms. If you’re ready to start therapy, make an appointment with any of our therapists today. Feeling hesitant about how we can help? Call 305-605-LOVE (5683).

How to help your teen when they’re feeling stressed Key takeaways: Almost all teenagers experience stress Stress can actually make a teen more productive but too much is harmful There are specific signs and symptoms of excess stress in teens Raising a teenager is a phenomenal experience. These budding adults have a unique vantage point on the world and often have some pretty exciting ideas. Teenagers can also be extremely vexing. No matter how intelligent they are, a teen’s brain isn’t fully capable of rational decision-making until age 25, according to the University of Rochester Medical Center. The developing teen brain experiences stressors that adults don’t usually have to worry about. Teens stress over things that don’t always register with the adults around them and they react differently to those stressors. When you don’t understand what a teen is going through, parenting becomes extra challenging. This article discusses teenage stress causes, the symptoms they may cause, and the most effective ways to treat teen stress. Types of teenage stress causes Stress is the body’s response to external and internal events. Teens not only feel stress from what’s going on in their own lives but from what’s going on in their family and friends’ lives, too. Luckily, the first step in coping with stress is to identify it. Some common causes of teen stress include: Time management Managing their time can be hard for teens, especially those with many responsibilities. Some kids have after-school jobs, participate in sports and/or clubs, and do chores at home. Trying to do everything without properly planning their time can be overwhelming and leads to burnout. Romance Romance is a big deal for teenagers. Sometimes, it’s the biggest deal, and everything else in life takes a back seat. Hormones are raging and unpredictable during the teen years, making something as emotional as first relationships exponentially harder to understand. Social pressures Social pressures, including social media, are harder for teens. They are just starting to realize who they are and looking for a place to belong in the world. The opinions of their friends, peers, and even total strangers on the internet mean a great deal to them. Feelings of not fitting in or upsetting their friends can cause major stress. Trauma Traumatic events are challenging for everyone but a teenager’s hormones and developing brain can make things even more difficult. Losing a peer or family member can be too much for a teen to handle, especially if there was a close connection. Understanding the source of a teenager’s stress is a huge part of helping them overcome their concerns and find peace. There are some symptoms stressed-out teens typically display, no matter the cause. Stress symptoms in teens Keeping an eye out for stress-related behavioral and emotional cues can help parents address potential issues. There are some typical signs most stressed teens exhibit, including: Sudden negative changes in behavior When a usually happy and upbeat teen becomes sullen and irritable, there’s a good chance they’re stressed about something. Hostile or violent outbursts, argumentativeness, and constant complaining can all point to an abundance of stress. Unexplainable illnesses Suddenly feeling sick for no apparent reason, especially before a big test or important event, could really be a sign of stress. Frequent stomach aches, headaches, and trips to the bathroom could signify that the stress is becoming too much to handle. Avoiding others Teens going through a lot of stress may isolate themselves. It can feel like too much effort to socialize or attend family functions or after-school activities. It’s much easier to hole up in their bedroom and lose themselves in television or video games. If you notice your teen is exhibiting these or similar symptoms, it’s time to address their stress levels. Tactics like scheduling, meditation, and yoga can help alleviate moderate stress, but therapy is the best option when it begins to interrupt daily life. Treatment for severe teen stress Talking about problems is helpful, and listening to your teen goes a long way when they feel overly stressed. You can offer gentle advice or just an eager ear. Sometimes, teens feel more comfortable talking to a professional where an uninvolved third party can hear them. There are several helpful therapies for teens, including: Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) Therapists use this modality to address specific problems that could be causing stress, anxiety, and panic. It helps change problematic behaviors and develop healthy ones. Sometimes, stress is learned from years of reinforcement. CBT addresses that behavior and works to replace it with something more productive. Group therapy Teen group therapies are useful to show teens that they aren’t alone. They learn from each other’s experiences and help others in the group manage their stress. Group therapy is the perfect place to practice new, healthier behaviors to thwart stress. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) DBT is very similar to CBT but with a more mindful approach. It is used to treat people with such severe stress that their symptoms could be life-threatening. DBT involves core mindfulness, distress tolerance, interpersonal effectiveness, and emotional regulation. A therapist will assess the issues and determine the best route of therapy. It could consist of weekly or monthly sessions, in-person, or virtually. almost all teens experience some level of stress but when it becomes overwhelming, there are health matters to consider. Stress contributes significantly to diseases and illnesses such as insomnia, depression, diabetes, asthma, heart disease, obesity, and premature death. Let your teen know you see their stress and are available for whatever they need. All teens can use some help coping with stress occasionally The teen years are stressful for everyone but there are many ways to help make it easier for the teens in your life. The Love Discovery Institute is an elite emotional and cognitive wellness center that offers therapy for adults, children, and teens from licensed therapists. Our therapists understand relationships well and help people develop significant and authentic relationships. If you are having challenges parenting your teenager or one or both of you is dealing with mental health issues like stress and anxiety, we can help. The team at Love Discovery is ready to welcome you with open arms. If you’re ready to start therapy to help improve your relationship with your teen or make parenting easier, make an appointment with any of our therapists today. Feeling hesitant about how we can help? Call 305-605-LOVE.

Solving intimacy issues might be easier than you think Key takeaways: Physical intimacy dysfunctions happen to men and women of all ages There are physical and psychological intimacy disorders Health problems such as diabetes and nerve damage can interfere with intimacy Emotional issues such as depression and poor body image can contribute to intimacy dysfunctions Lovemaking can be a vibrant, healthy part of a relationship. While it isn’t absolutely necessary, it can be very important to many couples. That’s why when something goes wrong with it, it can feel like a horrible thing. Physical intimacy disorders are natural and can happen to anyone, regardless of age or gender. Even so, dealing with this type of issue can be physically and emotionally taxing. Fortunately, there are many effective ways to deal with this common problem. We’ll discuss the details of intimacy dysfunctions, what causes them, and what you can do to improve things. Intimacy dysfunctions defined Physical intimacy dysfunctions are any issues that stop a person from enjoying intimate activities. Almost 45% of women and 31% of men report some form of dysfunction with coital relations. These dysfunctions typically fit into four categories: Arousal problems: The inability to achieve physical arousal during intimate activity Desire disorders: A lack of interest in intimate acts Issues with climaxing: A delay or absence of climax Pain issues: Pain during intercourse People may experience one or more issues in these categories. There are a variety of specific disorders under this umbrella, including: Vulvodynia Genital Arousal Disorder Premature Ejaculation Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder Erectile Dysfunction (ED) Orgasm Disorder There is a misconception that people (men in particular) don’t experience any of these issues until later in life, but dysfunctions of this sort can happen at any age. While age can be a factor, there are several other causes as well. Physical intimacy dysfunction causes There are many reasons someone might experience issues with physical intimacy. Healthcare professionals divide them into two categories: physical and psychological. For most people, there is more than one cause. Physical causes Physical issues that happen in the body can prevent the usual enjoyment of intimate pleasures. They can include: Injuries A major injury such as head trauma, organ failure, or broken bone can cause a lapse in desire. Nerve damage Damage to nerves from trauma or fever can result in intimacy problems when the nerves aren’t firing as they should. Hormonal imbalance An imbalance of hormones can wreak havoc on all parts of your life, including intimacy. Most people think of menopausal women as having this problem, but it can happen to men, also. Diabetes Vascular issues, nerve problems, and a host of accompanying health issues make diabetes an intimacy killer in many cases. High blood pressure High blood pressure reduces blood flow to erotic organs and diminishes desire. Menopause and pregnancy As she ages, changes in a woman’s body can cause temporary glitches in her erotic desires. Menopause and pregnancy cause hormonal changes and myriad emotional issues that interfere with passion and desire. Most of these causes also require medication, which often makes things worse. Physical causes of intimacy disorders can also exacerbate psychological ones. Psychological causes Sometimes, these types of dysfunctions are psychologically induced. Relationship issues, body image concerns, performance worries, and other mental anguish concerns can cause problems with intimacy. Traumatic life experiences like rape and abuse can also be causes. Not all reasons are related to intimacy. Work-related stress and worries about bills and finances can also be the culprit. Solutions for intimacy dysfunctions The first step to successful treatment is a proper diagnosis, which begins with a physical and a set of health history questions. Diagnostic tests can show if a medical issue is an instigating factor. Once all of the pertinent information is revealed, a doctor can recommend the best treatment based on the underlying cause. There are several options: Education and communication Talking openly with your partner about your needs and concerns goes a long way in helping with intimacy issues. Educate yourself about what’s worrying you and discuss it with your healthcare professional to find the best way to address the situation. Medication Medication can cause this dysfunction, but it can also be the solution. Some medications increase blood flow to erotic organs and treat dips in hormones that tamper desire. Mechanical aids Penile implants, vacuum pumps, and other devices can help stimulate eroticism. Mechanical aids are usually used when the problem is not medical and will eventually disappear. Psychotherapy for related issues Since many intimacy dysfunctions are caused by previous trauma, psychotherapy is often the best treatment. Patients can address the root causes of their dysfunction and mentally heal to have a better relationship with intimacy. Couples therapy Couples therapy is a type of talk therapy that addresses intimacy, infidelity, and other hotspots in romantic relationships. During these talk therapy sessions, couples are encouraged to talk about their beliefs and concerns to find a way to solve their problems. These topics aren’t always easy to discuss. The most important part of any solution is open and honest conversation. Sexual dysfunction doesn’t have to be a taboo topic. It can happen to anyone for all sorts of reasons. A quick chat with your healthcare provider could be all it takes to solve the problem. Physical intimacy dysfunction isn’t a hopeless issue Physical intimacy dysfunction isn’t a death sentence for your love life. There are many solutions. The Love Discovery Institute is an elite emotional and cognitive wellness center that offers therapy for those experiencing distressing issues. Our therapists understand relationships well and help people develop significant and authentic relationships. If you are having challenges with physical intimacy, we can help. The team at Love Discovery is ready to welcome you with open arms. If you’re ready to start therapy to help improve your relationship, make an appointment with any of our therapists today. Feeling hesitant about how we can help? Call 305.605.LOVE (5683).

Divorce can be a challenging and life-altering experience, but it also opens the door to new possibilities and the chance to find love again. This article provides a comprehensive guide on navigating the world of dating after divorce, filled with practical tips, advice, and insights to help you make informed and healthy choices as you explore new relationships. Read on to discover how to approach dating post-divorce, overcome challenges, and find meaningful connections, backed by expert advice from Love Discovery Institute. Understanding the Impact of Divorce Why is it crucial to reflect on the divorce? Divorce brings a wave of emotions and changes, affecting various aspects of life. Understanding and reflecting on what went wrong in your marriage is pivotal before jumping back into the dating pool. It helps in acknowledging past mistakes, learning from them, and avoiding the repetition of unhealthy patterns in future relationships. It’s essential to give yourself time to heal and attain closure to embrace new beginnings with an open heart and mind. How can therapy after divorce help in healing? Therapy can be a beacon of support and guidance during the tumultuous times post-divorce. Love Discovery Institutespecializes in psychotherapy, offering a safe space for individuals to process their emotions, gain insights into their behaviors and patterns, and develop coping mechanisms. A counselor can facilitate self-discovery, empowerment, and emotional healing, paving the way for healthier and more fulfilling relationships. Rediscovering Yourself: Are You Ready to Date? What does it mean to be ready to date after divorce? Being ready to date post-divorce signifies having processed the loss of your marriage, achieved emotional stability, and being open to meeting someone new. It’s about feeling ready to share your life with a potential partner, without the shadows of past relationships looming over. Self-awareness and a clear understanding of what you want in a partner are crucial to navigating the dating world with confidence and resilience. How long should you wait to start dating? There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to how long one should wait to date after a divorce. It varies for every individual, depending on their emotional state, circumstances, and the nature of the past relationship. Take as much time as you need to grieve the end of your marriage, attain closure, and feel ready to explore new relationships. Remember, it’s essential to approach dating with a healed and whole heart to build meaningful and lasting connections. What are the signs you might be ready to date again? Recognizing the signs that you may be ready to date is pivotal. Feeling content and fulfilled while being single, having a clear understanding of what went wrong in the past relationship, and the desire to meet new people are indicative of readiness. If you’re looking forward to the prospect of a new relationship and feel equipped to handle the challenges of dating, you’re likely on the right path. Setting the Pace: How to Approach Dating after Divorce Why is it important to take it slow when starting to date? Diving headfirst into the dating scene post-divorce can be overwhelming and may lead to rebound relationships. Taking it slow allows you to get to know your dates on a deeper level, understand your own needs and desires better, and make informed decisions about entering a new relationship. It helps in building a solid foundation for a healthy relationship and avoiding the pitfalls of rushing into commitments prematurely. How can you be honest about your past while dating? Being open and honest about your past, including your divorce, is vital when dating. It fosters trust, mutual understanding, and deeper connections. However, it’s crucial to strike a balance – sharing relevant information while maintaining boundaries and focusing on the present. Addressing your past openly can prevent misunderstandings and create a supportive environment for both partners to share their experiences and grow together. Exploring New Horizons: Online Dating after Divorce Is online dating a viable option after divorce? In today’s digital age, online dating has emerged as a convenient and popular option for those looking to meet new people and explore potential relationships. It offers a diverse pool of individuals, each with their unique traits and interests, making it a viable option for those venturing back into the dating world post-divorce. However, it’s crucial to approach online dating with caution, open-mindedness, and clear expectations. How can you make the most of online dating experiences? To navigate the world of online dating successfully, it’s essential to be authentic, maintain a positive attitude, and be clear about your preferences and boundaries. Opt for reputable dating apps, create an honest and appealing profile, and be open to different types of people while being mindful of red flags. Being proactive, staying safe, and keeping an open mind can lead to rewarding experiences and connections in the online dating world. What are the pros and cons of online dating after divorce? Online dating offers the convenience of meeting new people from the comfort of your home and the opportunity to connect with a diverse range of individuals. However, it also comes with challenges such as potential misrepresentations, superficial connections, and the overwhelming abundance of choices. Balancing the benefits and drawbacks and setting healthy boundaries can optimize your online dating experiences. Stepping Out: Meeting New People and Trying New Experiences How can you expand your social circle and meet new people? Post-divorce, expanding your social circle is pivotal in meeting new people and potential partners. Attend social events, join clubs or hobby groups, volunteer, or reach out to friends. Engaging in diverse activities and social settings can enrich your life with new friendships and possibly lead to romantic connections. Why is it important to be open to different types of partners? Being open to dating different types of people broadens your horizons and increases your chances of finding a compatible partner. It allows you to explore various personalities, lifestyles, and values, enriching your perspective and understanding of what you truly want in a partner. Embrace diversity and be open to learning and growing through your dating experiences. How can trying new experiences benefit your dating life? Stepping out of your comfort zone and trying new experiences can revitalize your dating life. Whether it’s picking up a new hobby, traveling to a new place, or dating outside your usual type, new experiences stimulate personal growth, increase your attractiveness, and provide opportunities to meet like-minded individuals. Embrace novelty and enjoy the journey of self-discovery and connection. Establishing Foundations: Building a New Relationship after Divorce How can you build a healthy and fulfilling relationship post-divorce? Building a new relationship after divorce requires mutual respect, open communication, and shared values. Focus on developing a strong bond, maintaining your individuality, and nurturing a supportive and loving environment. Establish clear expectations, resolve conflicts effectively, and invest time and effort to foster growth and happiness in your relationship. What role does clear communication play in new relationships? Clear and open communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. It fosters understanding, trust, and intimacy, allowing both partners to express their thoughts, feelings, and needs effectively. Regular and constructive conversations can prevent misunderstandings, strengthen the bond, and facilitate mutual growth and fulfillment in the relationship. Navigating the Journey: Tips and Strategies for Dating After Divorce What are some essential tips for dating after divorce? Navigating the dating journey post-divorce can be daunting but rewarding. Embrace the adventure with a positive mindset, clear goals, and open heart. Some essential tips include taking it slow, being honest about your past and your needs, setting healthy boundaries, and maintaining a balance between flexibility and standards. Remember, every dating experience is an opportunity for learning and growth. How can you ensure a smooth and enjoyable dating process? To make your dating process smooth and enjoyable, stay true to yourself, keep an open mind, and communicate effectively. Learn from each experience, manage your expectations, and stay present in the moment. Approach dating with curiosity and a sense of adventure, and don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. Enjoy the journey and stay optimistic about finding true love. Finding True Love: Is It Possible After Divorce? Can you find true love again after a divorce? Finding true love after divorce may seem like a distant dream, but it is indeed possible. It requires patience, self-discovery, and the willingness to be vulnerable. Believe in the possibility of love, maintain a positive outlook, and be open to forming deep, meaningful connections. True love may come when you least expect it, so stay hopeful and keep your heart open. How can you cultivate a healthy and loving relationship? Cultivating a healthy and loving relationship involves mutual respect, shared values, and effective communication. Invest time in getting to know each other, support each other’s goals and aspirations, and build a partnership based on equality, trust, and love. Nurture your relationship with kindness, understanding, and affection, and it will flourish and bring joy and fulfillment to both partners. Embracing a New Beginning: The Road Ahead How can you approach post-divorce dating with optimism and resilience? Embracing new beginnings post-divorce involves approaching dating with optimism, resilience, and self-love. Learn from your past, focus on the present, and look forward to the future with hope and excitement. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family, engage in activities that bring you joy, and give yourself ample time to heal and grow. Trust in your ability to overcome challenges and find happiness again. What are the key takeaways for successful dating after divorce? Successful dating after divorce is about self-discovery, openness, and balance. It involves learning from the past, knowing what you want in a partner, maintaining healthy boundaries, and staying true to yourself. It’s about embracing new experiences, building meaningful connections, and approaching the dating world with a positive and proactive mindset. Keep faith in the journey and in your ability to find love and happiness post-divorce. Conclusion Reentering the dating world after a divorce demands a strategic approach. Begin by reflecting on your past relationships, drawing lessons from your divorce, and fostering personal growth. Ensure you're emotionally stable and clear about your needs before diving into the dating pool. Be open to new experiences and different types of partners, perhaps exploring online dating to expand your horizons. Effective communication is key; be honest about your past and invest in building meaningful connections. Maintain a positive mindset, approach dating with optimism and resilience, and believe in the possibility of finding true love once more. By combining self-reflection, readiness, exploration, open communication, positivity, and a deep belief in love's potential, you set the stage for creating healthy, loving relationships that offer the promise of genuine connection and the chance to find true love anew. Embark on your journey of love and discovery with resilience and optimism. Explore, learn, and grow as you navigate the complex yet rewarding world of dating after divorce. If you find yourself needing support, guidance, or expert advice on relationships and personal growth, don’t hesitate to reach out to Love Discovery Institute. Our team of professionals is here to assist you on your journey to rediscovering love and building meaningful connections. Give us a call at 305-605-LOVE or book an appointment online directly through our appointments page to explore our services tailored to your unique needs.

Is it anxiety or a panic attack? What’s happening to me? Key takeaways: People often use the terms anxiety and panic interchangeably. Anxiety is actually a necessary but uncomfortable emotion. Having too much anxiety and panic can cause a disorder. Your heart is beating wildly, your breath becomes shallow, and you want to cry, but you don’t know why. Are you having a panic attack? Is it “just” anxiety? People often use these terms interchangeably, but they are not the same. Anxiety may be helpful. It doesn’t feel like it, but it is helping you by providing valuable information. It tells you when to flee, freeze, or fight and activates your body’s responses, so you don’t even have to think about activating them yourself. Anxiety helps you avoid genuine threats to your existence. Panic is often a response to a perceived threat/triggering event and almost always happen suddenly without warning. Panic attacks may be expected or unexpected. In this article, we’ll discuss the differences between anxiety and panic attacks, their signs and symptoms, and how you can help yourself if you experience them. Anxiety versus panic Anxiety and panic attacks are similar. At times, they can feel almost identical, but panic attacks are more intense. Anxiety attacks typically build gradually whereas panic attacks are usually abrupt and often unexpected. These attacks can happen to anyone. They are natural occurrences in the human body. It is when they happen often and consistently that they may be considered disorders that require medical assistance. Anxiety versus panic attack symptoms Panic and anxiety attacks share many physical and emotional symptoms and can feel very similar. They are different, however, and you can even experience them both at once. For instance, worrying about a public speaking engagement can cause anxiety. When the moment arrives, anxiety can morph into full-blown panic. Symptoms of panic and anxiety attacks include: An intense fear of dying Distress Incessant worry Fear of losing control Derealization or depersonalization (a sense of detachment from the world or oneself) Accelerated heart rate Heart palpitations Chest pain Shortness of breath Tightness in the throat or a sensation of choking Xerostomia (dry mouth) Sweating Chills Hot flashes Trembling or shaking Paresthesia (numbness or tingling in the extremities) Nausea or upset stomach Abdominal pain Feeling faint Dizziness Headache These two attacks share so many symptoms that it can be hard to figure out if you’re experiencing a panic attack or an anxiety attack. It helps to consider these factors: The speed of arrival - Anxiety attacks build up slowly. Panic attacks are sudden and intense. Causation – The cause of anxiety is some event that your mind has deemed troublesome. It may or may not actually be troublesome. Panic typically comes out of nowhere, although intense phobias can trigger a panic attack. Distress levels - Anxiety attacks run the gamut of intensity. They can be mild, moderate, or severe. They can run in the back of your mind when you’re doing something else, like an app on your phone. It may or may not amp up to higher distress levels. It may just go away. Panic is usually a more intense feeling. It comes on strong out of nowhere and makes you feel like it’s the end of the world, literally. The most obvious difference between the symptoms of anxiety and panic is the severity. In most cases, panic attacks are far more severe than anxiety attacks. Panic versus anxiety attack triggers Triggers are things that incite an attack. Triggers can be events or incidents but they can also be people, places, words, and actions. Unexpected panic attacks have no trigger, and the reasons for them are unclear. Some things that typically trigger panic and anxiety attacks include: Life stressors, including a demanding job, marital problems, and financial troubles Withdrawal from alcohol or drugs Chronic pain Side effects of medications Phobias, including irrational fears of anything from insects to balloons or other inanimate objects Exposure to triggers Overuse of stimulants such as nicotine and caffeine While these are the most common triggers, there are many more. Each person’s triggers will be different, depending upon their life’s circumstances and experiences. Risk factors People are more likely to develop a panic or anxiety disorder if they: Have experienced past traumatic events Have a family history of panic attacks Have a diagnosis of mental health issues such as depression or bipolar disorder Have any chronic medical condition such as a thyroid disorder, asthma, diabetes, fibromyalgia, or heart disease Have alcohol or drug dependency Experience intense life stressors Some risk factors are present at birth, such as sex. Females are twice as likely to develop an anxiety disorder as males. Getting help for panic and anxiety attacks The first step to addressing a panic or anxiety attack is to look it square in the face. Whatever the major worry is must be addressed head-on. Avoidance is the fuel that these attacks feed on. Facing those fears robs the attack of its power. In the case of unexpected panic attacks, know that you are physically fine and that you will come out of one when it happens. Telling yourself that nothing physically damaging is happening and that you are okay will help you ride it out. When the impulses are too strong to ignore, it could be time to seek medical help. Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S. According to the Anxiety & Depression Association of America, approximately 40 million U.S. adults experience significant anxiety yearly. Treatment for anxiety and panic disorders depends on the severity and causes, but they are manageable. No one has to live with these disorders forever. Panic and anxiety can take over your life, but together we can stop them The Love Discovery Institute is an elite emotional and cognitive wellness center that offers therapy for adults, children, and teens from licensed therapists. Our therapists understand people and emotions well and help them with significant stressors. If you are suffering from anxiety and panic attacks, we are here to help you stop them. The team at Love Discovery is ready to welcome you with open arms. If you’re ready to start therapy to improve your symptoms, make an appointment with any of our therapists today. Feeling hesitant about how we can help? Call 305-605-LOVE (5683).

You can still fight fairly even when your feelings are hurt Key takeaways: Fighting fair in a relationship shows respect, love, and emotional control There are several ways to fight fair, even though your feelings may be hurt Couples therapy provides a safe space to learn conflict resolution skills It may seem strange, but arguments signify a healthy relationship; not the fact that you have them but how you solve them. Conflict is healthy. It allows you to see where your relationship could improve and how you can grow individually and together. A couple’s personalities can be polar opposites but that doesn’t keep them from loving and respecting each other. When love and respect are present in a relationship, conflict (as uncomfortable as it can be) is just another way to grow together. Conflict management and resolution are two of the most valuable skills a couple can have. Fighting fair is a learned skill, and mindful arguments help couples use conflict as a tool to enhance their relationships. Couples therapy can also help couples learn to fight fairly and keep their cool when arguments ensue. Check out these tips for fighting fairly and how couples therapy can help you learn the ropes. 1. Set boundaries Setting boundaries makes arguments a lot less confusing. Set rules such as: No name-calling No excessive aggression No involving a third, unqualified party Make rules against anything that makes both parties uncomfortable. Boundaries help protect our emotions in an argument. These guidelines will help you sustain the respect necessary for a genuinely productive dialogue. 2. Stick to the issue(s) A really intense argument can quickly turn into a rehashing of everything that’s ever gone wrong in the relationship. Fighting is like an avalanche. Once the rumbling starts, a slew of old problems slides down the hill. Unfortunately, this tactic never reconciles any argument because it causes confusion and distracts from the main issue. Stay focused on the problem at hand. 3. Watch your tongue Arguing with your significant other is a slippery slope. Name-calling, screaming, and snarky comments are not appropriate to fling at the person you love (even if you’re mad at the moment). Flaring tempers diminish common sense in a hurry. Before you know it, you’ve said something diminishing, disrespectful, or even abusive. It’s not only counterproductive in an argument, but it can also cause permanent damage to the relationship. 4. Don’t fight to win Fighting in a relationship is unlike fighting in other situations. The goal is different. You don’t want to win. You must remember that this isn’t a battle to the death; it’s a path to compromise. Every decision in a relationship is a compromise. Real “winning” only happens when couples work together. 5. Schedule your argument Many people wait for an argument to happen when they know there is an issue instead of facing it. This technique can feel like an ambush to the unexpecting partner. An easy way to ensure a fair fight is to schedule it. Tell your partner you’d like to discuss something and set up a good time. Both partners then have time to think about the things they want to discuss by scheduling the talk. Another take on this technique is to have your discussion via email. It’s another effective way to give each other time to think during the argument and express feelings with compassion. 6. Sympathize with each other Sometimes, you might be exceedingly upset about a topic that your partner doesn’t seem to find an issue with. Staying on an even keel is almost impossible when you’re riled up. It’s crucial to remain open and receptive to your partner’s issues, no matter how mad you get. If you’re not receptive and you dismiss your partner’s concerns, they will mention it on more than one occasion. Each time it happens, it will seem like more of an imposition than the last. Practice showing sympathy when your partner expresses their feelings, regardless of the circumstances. 7. Remember to breathe Blood-boiling anger has a way of taking center stage in any situation. It’s easy to forget that you’re talking to someone you love. Breathing exercises, like diaphragmatic breathing, can help you calm down, lower your pounding heart rate, and see the circumstances more holistically. Diaphragmatic breathing doesn’t just lower your heart rate, either. It also lowers your blood pressure and improves your core muscle stability. 8. Validate what your partner’s saying Repeating what you hear in an argument ensures that your partner feels heard and lets them clarify if necessary. You might say, “So, you get upset when I don’t clean anything around the house for a few days?” This small action helps you both to find common ground and equal understanding. 9. “When X happens, I feel Y” When you’re trying to tell someone about something they do that bothers you, it’s easy to come off as critical instead of constructive. “I” statements can help, but not if they exude animosity, like saying, “I hate such and such.” “I” statements such as “When X happens, I feel Y…” are much more helpful in an argument. 10. Apologize A sincere apology is the surest way to end any argument. It has to be delivered correctly, however, to work. The most effective apologies acknowledge that pain was caused and take responsibility for it before asking for forgiveness. 11. Create aftercare practices Arguments can take a lot out of a person. They can leave you feeling depleted, sad, and a little tender, even if they end well. Creating argument aftercare practices such as makeup sex, romantic walks in the moonlight, or two minutes of silent hugging, helps reconnect you. 12. Get help Fighting fair isn’t something that comes naturally. Humans are prone to letting their anger get away from them. Couples therapy can help couples learn fair fighting techniques that complement their communication style. Couples therapy for life transitions, communication problems, and other issues help to make concerns easier to tackle and overcome in a calm, productive manner. Arguments are inevitable in a healthy relationship, so learning how to navigate them is crucial. Learning to fight fair allows you to see how best to service your relationship so that it lasts. Do you know how to have a fair fight? Fighting fair allows couples to look at their relationship from the outside and see how it can be improved. The Love Discovery Institute is an elite emotional and cognitive wellness center that offers therapy for adults, children, and teens from licensed therapists. Our therapists understand relationships exceptionally well and help people develop significant and authentic relationships. The team at Love Discovery is ready to welcome you with open arms. If you’re ready to start therapy to help improve your relationship, make an appointment with any of our therapists today. Feeling hesitant about how we can help? Call 305.605.LOVE (5683).

Managing the family’s finances can get on even the most agreeable couple’s nerves, but there are many ways to ease the frustration. Key takeaways: Money is one of the top five things couples argue about. Most money management mistakes don’t even involve money interestingly enough. Making simple changes to your habits and communication with your spouse can help get your finances in order. It isn’t unusual to see couples in which one person is a super saver, and the other spends like there’s no tomorrow. That can lead to many arguments, however. Money is one of the top things married couples fight over, along with chores, children, intimacy, and retirement plans. It doesn’t have to be this way, though. Couples can address the issues head-on (without tears) and learn to take a joint approach to finances. Research shows that most marital money problems stem from a lack of financial knowledge and personal money habits. Fortunately, those are relatively easy things to remedy. Managing family finances can actually be an easy, pleasant experience when you approach it from the right angle (yes, really). We’ll give you seven valuable tips to help make managing your family finances a healthy and stress-free experience. 1. Get harmful personal habits under control Financial issues can mount quickly. Most marital money issues come from questionable personal decisions. Several bad habits can unsettle your marital assets, such as: Excessive materialism – Money is closely connected to the ego and how people see themselves. If acquiring and displaying possessions makes you feel good, too much of it could be wrecking your finances and marriage. Preoccupation with your social image – In the social media era, it’s easy to become preoccupied with the image you’re trying to show the world. Maintaining a consistent look and standard can be hard on the purse strings, especially when you’re married with children. Using money to control others – Sometimes, throwing a couple of bucks at a situation is the easiest way to get through it, but that doesn’t solve the problem for long. Using cash to deal with sticky situations and uncooperative people becomes a revolving door of handouts. Addictive behavior – Addictive behaviors cost money. Gambling, shopping, drinking, and drugs are expensive habits. If you don’t get them under control, they can cost you your marriage, too. Impulse buying – It’s difficult to stop impulse buying because stores and websites are designed to motivate people to buy things, especially things they didn’t know they needed. Knocking out all unnecessary items from your shopping list can save a bundle at the end of the month. Your personality also affects your financial behavior. People who value order and authority are more apt to be stringent savers while those who care more about being spontaneous and lighthearted are prone to indiscriminate spending. 2. Create a mandatory budget Creating a budget is critical to controlling your family’s finances. Figure out how much money will come into the household each month and how much has to go out on the essentials. Essentials are things such as: Food Shelter Gas Clothing Take care of outstanding bills with any money left after the essentials are paid. Couples often have residual debt like medical bills and car repairs. Save anything that’s left for unexpected expenses and future investments. 3. Monitor spending Monitoring your spending is another essential step for managing your family’s finances. It entails being aware of where your money is going and adjusting your spending habits accordingly. The simplest way is to track all monthly expenses to see where to cut spending back. This move helps identify patterns in your spending habits. 4. Set goals and decide how to achieve them Having a common goal you’re both excited about can help couples get on the same page financially. Decide what you are trying to achieve financially as a couple. Having a goal amount or a number to shoot for makes it far likelier to happen than having a vague decision to save in your head. 5. Create a bill-paying system Set up separate accounts for all of your significant expenditures. One account for household bills, one for vacation savings, one for a holiday fund; you get the picture. This technique makes it much easier to see how much money is allotted to each bill and how much you spend on certain items every month. 6. Live within your means It isn’t uncommon for couples to live well above their means to keep up with their friends and neighbors. The trouble is, that lifestyle only lasts so long before it comes crumbling down. The best-case scenario is that you lose all your possessions. The worst is that you go to jail. Spend less money than you make and save some. That is living within your means. 7. Communicate Simply talking to your spouse can go a long what to clear up any financial misunderstanding you have as a couple. You can’t swipe your cards all day without informing the other, or that account will empty faster than you think, and there will be no money for the essentials. Don’t be one of the couples who let financial issues destroy their relationship. Get a grip on what’s happening with your money by paying more attention and sticking to your budget. Are you interested in learning more about managing family finances? Learning how to delegate financial roles and responsibilities can be challenging. The Love Discovery Institute is an elite emotional and cognitive wellness center that offers therapy for adults, children, and teens from licensed therapists. Our therapists understand relationships exceptionally well and help people develop significant and authentic relationships. If you are having challenges managing finances with your partner or family, are trying to decide if a joint account is right for you both, or want to discuss financial intimacy, we can help. The team at Love Discovery is ready to welcome you with open arms. If you’re ready to start therapy to help improve your relationship with your teen or make parenting easier, make an appointment with any of our therapists today. Feeling hesitant about how we can help? Call 305.605.LOVE (5683).

Communicating when you’re mad doesn’t have to end in disaster. Key takeaways: Anger is a normal, human emotion. You shouldn’t feel ashamed of it or try to avoid it. People feel anger for a variety of reasons and express it differently. Anger is a normal human emotion that happens to all of us. It can actually feed persistence and determination and help push you toward your goals, but it can also drive you off a cliff of mindless rage. Anger can cause trouble if it’s too intense, occurs at the wrong time, or lasts too long. It can cause you to harm yourself and those around you if it gets out of control. Everyone has tried to have a conversation when angry. It’s no simple task. Anger can get the best of you before you realize what happened. The trick is knowing how to effectively manage anger to get your point across under any circumstance. We discuss understanding anger and the secrets to mindful communication when you’re super mad. Understanding anger Anger is a multifaceted emotion. People feel angry for a plethora of reasons and express it in just as many. Expressing your anger positively can lead to critical change and improvements. Suppressed and passive-aggressive (indirect) anger, on the other hand, can have awful consequences. Many times, when anger is internalized, hostile actions follow. Understanding your anger is the most significant part of controlling it and using it to your advantage when communicating. Mindfulness tips for communicating while angry Communicating with hostility in any form usually drives people away. People often feel uncomfortable with both aggressiveness and passive aggressiveness in conversation. If you are angry, you can still communicate effectively by: -Making a plan You know when you’re about to get angry. You see circumstances coming together and know that something is about to make you get very upset. Make a plan of what you can say and do to maintain control of your emotions. Have some comments ready to diffuse the situation or excuse yourself for a breath of fresh air. -Listening actively Active listening is a crucial element of effective communication. It allows you to understand the message the other person is trying to convey, including unspoken communication. When actively listening, you avoid jumping to conclusions and can better manage your anger. -Not holding grudges Lao Tzu said, “The best fighter is never angry.” He was probably right since holding grudges makes it even more challenging to control your anger. You’ll sit and stew on the issue long after it’s over when you could be enjoying your life. We must accept that everyone’s behaviors, beliefs, and feelings are different and are ultimately beyond our control. -Swapping your point of view You can throw up a counterattack to your anger and change the balance. You may want to throw your hands in the air and give up when things are going wrong, and your anger is rising. Instead, try swapping your point of view by saying to yourself, “Well, this stinks, but it won’t last forever. Things will straighten out soon. Let’s just move on.” That type of thinking throws off your anger and gives you time to readjust. -Showing compassion It’s easy to just let your anger take charge and get away with everything. It takes a much stronger mind to slow down those feelings and try to understand what the other person is going through. There is a reason the other person is angry or upset, and it’s just as valid as yours. When you show compassion, it’s easier to put your anger aside while you try to understand a fellow human being. -Using grounding techniques Grounding techniques are tactics people employ to gain control over their emotions. It could be deep breathing, visualization, or repeating a mantra. Anything that helps to slow your heart rate and thought process. -Controlling your voice Screaming, yelling, and speaking angrily make tense situations worse. Approaching things with a calm and even voice creates a peaceful atmosphere. Let your voice resonate with inquisitiveness and genuine concern instead. -Maintaining an emotional distance It’s imperative to remember that another person’s anger has nothing to do with you, no matter what they say. You, nor anyone else, can do anything to make another person angry. That is their choice. If you remember to keep emotional distance and not own the other person’s anger, it helps to keep your own anger under control. -Not letting anger be your first response Just because someone approaches you in anger doesn’t mean you have to respond with more of the same. You can respond in your own calm, attentive way and clear up the problem before it starts. -Expressing amiable body language You can often tell if someone is mad by how they walk, stand, and hold themselves. Hostile body language can cause as many problems as spiteful words. Maintaining nonthreatening body language helps keep anger at bay. We live in an age where stress and pressure seem to mount daily. It’s more important now than ever to approach anger with intent and control. Using these tips for communicating mindfully while angry allows us to acknowledge what can’t change and helps to channel our energies to positivity and serenity. There are simple ways to learn mindful communication, and we can help Learning to communicate with confidence and calmness is a skill we can help you gain quickly. The Love Discovery Institute is an elite emotional and cognitive wellness center that offers therapy for adults, children, and teens from licensed therapists. Our therapists understand relationships exceptionally well and help people develop significant and authentic relationships. The team at Love Discovery is ready to welcome you with open arms. If you’re ready to start therapy to help improve your relationship with yourself and others, make an appointment with any of our therapists today. Feeling hesitant about how we can help? Call 305.605.LOVE (5683).

The loss of a parent can be life-changing – find out how to grieve and heal Key takeaways: Embrace sadness Be open to complex feelings Watch for signs that grief is morphing into depression Don't expect a linear grief process Get support If you have found this post after losing your parent, we want to extend our condolences to you. We also want to offer you some help. The loss of a parent is one of the most significant events in your life. You will grieve, but you may also experience feelings that you weren't expecting. When grieving your parent, you will feel sad that they are gone, but you may also find yourself processing intense elements of your relationship both during your childhood and adult years. Accepting the loss of a parent can take a long time, and it will be a journey that could change you forever. It's up to you if you want to develop scars that harden you as a person or do the emotional work that will open you to the full potential of life's sorrows and joys. These ideas will help you recover after a parent loss. Embrace sadness Grief is necessary. It's not something you should run away from. Your parent deserves to be grieved, and you deserve to process your relationship with them. When sadness comes, don't look for a way to minimize it, and don't try to run away from it. Sit with it. Allow yourself to feel it. The only way to deal with grief is by going through it. If you try to go around it or avoid it, the grief will come back in other ways – sometimes years after the loss. Almost inevitably, you will find sadness creeping in during the down times of your day. But if you find that your commute or your shower is the only time that you cry, you may not be giving yourself enough time to grieve. Carve out time. Find time to take a long bath, go on a hike, or do whatever allows you to process your thoughts around this monumental loss. Contrary to the myth of toxic positivity, “negative” emotions aren't bad. They're necessary, and as you work through these feelings, you will ultimately become a more peaceful, centered, and joyful person. Be open to complex feelings The relationships people have with their parents are complicated. Even the most loving and emotionally healthy parent may have left you with scars or regrets. This can be hard to feel when you're sad about the loss of your parent. You may feel like you shouldn't have negative thoughts about them now that they're gone. Or you may feel guilty about the strife you created in your relationship. Again, just let yourself feel these emotions. Sit with the anger, the regret, and the guilt. Acknowledge these emotions. They may be debilitating. That's okay. Take the day off from work, crawl into bed, and just let these emotions wash through you. Regardless of what you believe about the afterlife, consider talking with your parent (even though they won’t talk back). Let them know how you feel. Ask for forgiveness or give them your forgiveness. Monitor your emotional health Both grief and depression have similar symptoms. With both, you may feel sad, have trouble sleeping, not want to eat, and feel reduced pleasure in activities. These reactions are normal when you lose a parent, but you need to watch for signs that your grief is morphing into depression. Unfortunately, you can't measure this with time alone. There is no timeline for grief. The most intense feelings will abate after a while, and you will be able to go about your life as usual. But years or even more than a decade after the loss of your parent, you will almost certainly find yourself still feeling grief. That is perfectly normal. If, however, you are unable to function and the grief is preventing you from living your life, you may be experiencing depression. Other signs that grief has become depression include feelings of isolation. Don't expect a linear grief process You're probably familiar with the five stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But here's something that may surprise you. The Kubler-Ross model of grief was developed for terminally ill patients, not for people who are grieving the death of a loved one. This model represents the journey terminally ill patients go on while accepting their diagnosis. This model is also very routed in time and culture, meaning that it doesn't apply across the board for all situations. People often go into grief expecting these five stages, and they sometimes try to pigeonhole their emotions into these stages. Then, they get frustrated with themselves that they're not experiencing a linear process. Be aware that grief usually doesn't follow this pattern. In fact, after her grief model became popular, Kubler-Ross noted that she regretted writing about these stages in a way that became so misunderstood. In most cases, you will feel all of these emotions. However, you may not feel them in order, and they will vary heavily depending on how your parent died and the nature of your relationship. For instance, if your parent died suddenly, you may have a lot more denial than someone whose parent died after a prolonged illness. In some cases, you may feel angry at the world that your parent exercised and ate right but still died of a heart attack. Or you may feel angry at your parent that they made poor health choices that contributed to their death. The emotions will vary depending on the situation. Get support Dealing with the loss of a parent can be even harder when you feel alone. Find people who can understand your situation. You may be able to turn to your siblings, your spouse, or your friends. In other cases, you may not know anyone who can empathize with your situation – this is especially true of younger people whose friends' parents are all still alive. Look for support groups where you can talk about your grief. Whether the groups are online or in person, knowing that someone else is going through what you're experiencing can be a big salve. Also, consider reaching out to a therapist. They can talk with you about your grief and help you process aspects of your relationship that come to the forefront after your parent’s death. At Love Discovery, we take a holistic approach to grief and wellness. We can help you process the loss of your parent in a way that helps you grow as a person and improve your relationships with the other people in your life. Everyone is unique, and we can provide you with the customized care that you need. To get support, contact us today at 305-605-LOVE or set up an appointment.

Monogamy doesn’t have to mean monotony Monogamy can be a beautiful gift that encourages the happiness of both partners throughout life. It’s a give-and-take relationship that ebbs and flows as you get to know each other. Everything is new and exciting in the early years, but as time elapses, life might seem less exhilarating and more mundane. You begin to feel as if nothing is left to discover about your partner, which can be disheartening. Most long-term couples go through this phase at some point in their relationships. The good news is that it’s not fatal. Relationships survive this phase every day, and yours can, too. Here are 12 tips to help you reconnect with your partner and feel closer than ever. 1. Take risks with each other You become very comfortable with your routine when you are in a relationship with someone for a long time. Instead of playing it safe all the time with your comfortable, daily routines, do something out of the ordinary. Take a swing dancing class. Hop on the first morning flight out of the airport. Be vulnerable. Shake things up every once in a while. Couples who never stray from their comfort zones can easily drift further and further away from each other. 2. Touch base throughout the day Knowing that someone is thinking about you is a very heartwarming feeling. When you let your partner know they are on your mind, they feel desirable and loved. It can change a bad mood into a good one in a few seconds, and suddenly, you’re both looking forward to seeing each other again at the end of the day. 3. Learn to compromise All couples disagree at times. The key to a healthy relationship is to learn to compromise. It isn’t about winning every argument but meeting each other halfway. Putting the relationship ahead of personal feelings is occasionally necessary for a relationship. It helps you both feel appreciated and valued. 4. Be affectionate Physical touch and affection are important parts of a relationship. Humans bond through touch, which is why newborn babies thrive on skin-to-skin contact. Loving touches release the happiness hormone oxytocin into the bloodstream. You not only feel good when someone you love touches you, but it also lessens anxiety and strengthens emotional and social bonds. 5. Stay friends Romantic relationships aren’t solely about intimacy. Most successful romances start with a strong friendship. Friends are supportive of each other’s dreams and enjoy spending time together. Maintaining your friendship helps you stay interested in each other. 6. Live in the moment Take a lackluster moment on an ordinary day and turn it into a memorable romantic instance anytime you want. Stop and dance or sing along together the next time a great song is on the radio. Work in a quick coffee date while running errands or take a walk after dinner. Having fun together, no matter where you are, keeps the romance alive when you’re both busy people. 7. Take five together Resting, taking care of yourself, and decompressing from the work week are all required to stay healthy and happy. When you do those things with your significant other, it helps to strengthen the relationship, too. 8. Synchronize your priorities They say opposites attract, and while that can certainly be true, you should be on the same page when it comes to major priorities. Long-term financial goals, retirement plans, and the necessity of monogamy are all topics a couple should be able to agree on to stay together for the long haul. 9. Don’t be afraid of space Long-term monogamy doesn’t mean you’re together every possible moment. Everyone needs and deserves a little time alone. It doesn’t matter if it’s a couple of days or a few hours. Having a space where you can go and be creative or introspective or just clear your head and listen to the wind blow past the open window is crucial. 10. Be aware that your grass is as green as anyone else’s When you’ve been married for a long time, it’s easy to fall into a rut and wonder if things would be better elsewhere. The answer is usually no. The love that comes with a long relationship is irreplaceable. It’s far easier to fix whatever is ailing the relationship than to throw it away for an unpredictable future. 11. Don’t be afraid of counseling Some people still subscribe to the outdated assumption that if you seek therapy, something must be wrong. The truth is that it’s the exact opposite. Marriage and couples counseling helps keep the connection strong and encourages growth and change that supports long-lasting goals. 12. Decide on your dealbreakers It’s much harder to make a mistake that can alter your union when you know the dealbreakers upfront. There’s no guesswork. Each partner must be aware of what each considers dealbreakers in a relationship and have the respect to avoid them. The most important thing you can do is to remember that disconnections and reconnections are inevitable. People grow, learn, and change over the years, and those who love them grow along with them. No relationship is perfect. Understanding that is a big step to ensuring your union survives the test of time. Are you ready to strengthen your most important connection? It takes a lot of work to keep your relationship strong for many years. But you don’t have to do it alone. The Love Discovery Institute is an elite emotional and cognitive wellness center that offers therapy for adults, children, and teens from licensed therapists. Our therapists understand relationships exceptionally well and help people learn to have significant and authentic relationships. So, if you are having challenges keeping the spark alive in your long-term relationship, we can help. The team at Love Discovery is ready to welcome you with open arms. If you’re ready to start therapy to help improve your relationship with your significant other, make an appointment with any of our therapists today. Feeling hesitant about how we can help? Call 305.605.LOVE (5683).

Working remotely can be challenging when you have children, but these tips can help you strike a balance. Key takeaways: Set realistic goals Create age-appropriate boundaries for your children Build flexibility into your professional and parenting schedules Find tasks you can eliminate, even if it means lowering your standards When spending time with your children, don't do any work Be forgiving of yourself Get help as needed In theory, working from home can improve your work-life balance. You can say goodbye to long commutes, rock the baby while reading spreadsheets, and fold laundry while on conference calls. But in practice, working from home and raising children can muddle the work-life balance. For over a generation, society has been peddling the idea that women can have it all. They can have stunning careers and great relationships with their children. Of course, this is almost impossible to achieve when you're trying to do both at the exact same time. When your children need your attention, you'll struggle to complete work tasks. When your professional to-do list is overwhelming, you'll end up putting your kids on hold. Many parents in this situation struggle to find the right balance, and they become resentful of their work and home life. Burnout is a real risk when you're working from home with children, but contrary to the headlines, it is possible to work remotely and raise children at the same time. You just need the right approach and a lot of flexibility. Check out these tips to help you manage this delicate balance. 1. Set realistic goals Here's the truth – you often won't be able to get as much done at home while raising children, as you would be able to in an office alone. Your children will interrupt you, and research indicates that it can take 23 minutes to regain focus after an interruption. Based on this number, you risk losing almost four hours of productivity for every 10 interruptions. Of course, interruptions don't just happen on the home front. When you're in an office, you have to deal with frequent distractions and interruptions from co-workers. In fact, that's one of the main reasons that many employees report being more productive when they work remotely. Keep that in mind on the days when you're frustrated with your child's interruptions. Accept the fact that you will be interrupted and set realistic goals. Make a list of the items you want to complete each day, week, or month, and then prioritize the most important tasks. Estimate how long it will take you to complete these items without interruption, and then, add on a cushion for interruptions. Admit that you might not be able to do everything and set realistic goals. Your goals should keep you on track not lead to frustration. 2. Create boundaries Distractions are inevitable, but you should still work to minimize them by creating boundaries between your personal and business life. Whenever possible, don't work from the living room or your children's playroom. Set up a specific space for work, and give your children firm guidelines about what they're allowed to do. The boundaries you create will vary based on the ages and needs of your kids. 3. Be flexible Regardless of how strong the boundaries you create are, the lines will get blurred. Some days, your kids will need extra nurturing and attention. To deal with the ever-changing challenges of parenthood, you need to build flexibility into your day. For instance, you might need flexible deadlines with your clients or the ability to take time off as needed throughout the day. There will also be times when you need extra time for work. In that vein, you need to find ways to be flexible with parenting. For instance, you might want to keep a stash of new toys or video recommendations on hand for the days when you need extra distractions for your child. 4. Find tasks you can eliminate You can’t add more hours to the day, but you can give yourself extra time by identifying tasks that you can drop. Look for ways to streamline processes or improve the efficiency of workflows. For example, if you're regularly attending meetings that could be handled through emails, let your boss know that you need to use your time more strategically. Also, look for ways that you can shorten your to-do list around the house. This typically requires you to reduce your standards. Maybe you need to let the kids do their own laundry or watch more TV (or read a book). Perhaps you need to vacuum less often or eat cereal for dinner once in a while. Give yourself the grace to eliminate tasks that aren't that crucial. 5. Avoid multitasking This may sound counterintuitive. After all, isn't the point of working from home being able to multi-task childrearing and career building? On some level, that might be true, but your days will be more fulfilling and your efforts more effective if you avoid multi-tasking as much as possible. Outline times that are just for work, and when you're ready to be present at home, focus on your kids. Don't look at your phone or check emails when you're spending time with your kids. Instead, give them your whole focus. Carve out specific times during the day that are just for your children. This will help fill up their emotional cups and hopefully reduce the number of times they interrupt you. 6. Get help as needed There will be days — or even years — where you can't do this on your own. Explore ways to find help. Bring in a grandparent or a nanny for a few hours every day. Even a relative reading to your child over a video can be helpful. If possible, you might want your partner to work from home as well. Then, you can take turns with who gets to focus on work and who gets to juggle interruptions from the kids. Raising your children is hard work, but it's not a job. It's a relationship. Examine how you see your caretaking relationship with your child. Do you see raising your child as a list of tasks? Are you hyper-focused on the duties of parenthood? Do you always think about what you should do, rather than what you get to do? It's easy to get into this position, especially when you're juggling work and parenting at the same time. But this can erode the relationship you have with your child, and it can also take a toll on your career. If you feel like parenthood is a job, it's time to recalibrate and find the joy in your relationship with your children. Contact Love Discovery for help managing the demands of parenthood At Love Discovery, we help people become the best versions of themselves. We understand how difficult it can be to manage remote work and raising children, and we also know that you can lose yourself in this mix. We are a therapeutic practice focused on relationships and self-discovery. We can help you recalibrate the relationship you have with your career, your children, and yourself. Contact us today at 305-605-LOVE (5683) to learn more about our approach or to schedule a therapy appointment.

How to know if It Is time to get a divorce or just an opportunity for improvement Key takeaways: More than half of married couples have contemplated divorce. Relationship conflict can be a trigger for growth. Sometimes, the healthiest option is divorce. Discernment counseling can help a couple make the right decision. More than half of couples that get married each year contemplate divorce at some point. That’s because relationships are complicated. And, areas of struggle often turn into growth opportunities – even if that means growing apart. Relationships have highs and lows where sometimes you’re learning, and, sometimes, you’re teaching. Typically, there are several challenges in the interim, but you always learn something in the end. Therein lies the problem for many couples, however. It isn’t always easy to tell if it’s time to get a divorce or if you’re simply facing a valuable learning experience. This guide will explain why divorce is sometimes the best decision. We’ll detail the signs that it might be time to let go and grow apart. Divorce is sometimes the best option Every marriage is different. Only those involved genuinely know when it’s time to call it quits. Most divorces occur when problems become insurmountable after multiple attempts to fix them or when people simply grow apart. Divorce can be scary, but staying in a marriage that you don’t belong in can be physically and mentally harmful. So, what should you look for if you can’t decide if you should stay married or not? Here are eight signs that divorce is the best option. 1. A lack of respect Mutual respect is one of the best signs of a healthy marriage. Unfortunately, when it starts to wane from one partner, the other partner feels rejected and dismissed. Those feelings can quickly turn into feelings of contempt and anger. Maintaining respect for someone you are with constantly takes a lot of hard work, especially as time passes. If a point comes when one partner isn’t willing to do that work any longer, the relationship is no longer healthy. 2. An increase in arguments Many couples can argue, even heatedly, and maintain healthy, loving relationships. Some cannot. For a lot of couples, even minor issues become high-conflict challenges that eventually cause adverse emotional experiences. When you have the same arguments over and over without resolving anything, the chances of having a healthy marriage are low. Without proper conflict resolution skills, you cannot get past the challenges. 3. You have different ideas about the future Issues such as whether to have children and where you want to retire are huge in a marriage. When you’re both going in separate directions, it’s impossible to sustain a committed marriage. Couples can compromise in most situations, except when one spouse feels so strongly that compromise isn’t an option. An unclear future is a sure sign that the marriage is not viable. 4. You live separate lives Spending a huge amount of time on your phone or constantly doing overtime at work can indicate that your marriage is in trouble. When a couple reaches the end of a marriage, they will uncouple, or detach, from each other (sometimes unconsciously). This usually means they spend less and less face-to-face time together and have less communication. 5. You have both stopped trying Both spouses have to be committed to making a marriage work for it to flourish. When just one spouse makes an effort, the marriage soon deteriorates. It leaves one partner feeling like they’re the only one holding up their end of the deal. When you feel put out, used, or taken advantage of, it’s not a situation you want to remain in. 6. A lack of intimacy A lack of intimacy alone isn’t usually a dealbreaker in every marriage. Couples can work through most intimacy issues with basic couples therapy. It can be, however, when it’s combined with other problems, or when intimacy is a top priority for one spouse. 7. Domestic violence occurs Violent behavior is never the answer to any sort of relationship conflict. Domestic violence can be mental, physical, or emotional. Once abuse happens once, it usually continues. Therapy and divorce are the healthiest solutions for a marriage plagued by domestic violence. 8. Habitual cheating is an issue Adultery is highly damaging to a marriage because it breaks trust. Many marriages survive infidelity when it happens once. Couples therapy can help reveal the root of the problem and help a couple heal. When it happens consistently, however, that spouse isn’t marriage material, and waiting around won’t change that fact. Making the decision The intense emotions and complex circumstances involved when contemplating divorce usually necessitate some form of assistance. The most common types are: Legal – a mediator Religious – a pastor or some other religious leader Medical – a therapeutic professional Discernment therapy works for many couples. It’s an efficient way for relationship counselors to help couples see their situations clearly. It’s especially helpful when a couple is ambivalent or having trouble deciding because it focuses on real-world solutions that make deciding less scary. Divorce is a major life decision, but that doesn’t mean it has to be traumatic or difficult. It’s hard work, but it’s worth it when you’re in an unhealthy marriage. Permit yourself to move forward. There’s more life to live and enjoy after divorce. Need help coming to a decision in your relationship? You aren’t alone if the topic of divorce is confusing and scary to you. That’s why we’re here. The Love Discovery Institute is an elite emotional and cognitive wellness center with licensed therapists that provide services for adults, children, and teens. Our therapists understand what makes relationships work and help people learn how to make significant and authentic connections. If you are having challenges in your marriage and wondering if divorce is the best option, we can help. We are ready to welcome you with open arms. Make an appointment today if you’re ready to explore discernment or another type of couples therapy. Are you feeling uncertain about how we can help? Call 305.605.LOVE (5683).