5 Signs Your Relationship Would Benefit From Couples Therapy

A bickering couple sitting frustrated on a couch needs couples therapy

Couples therapy can help partners overcome problems, learn to communicate with each other better, and create healthy patterns in the relationship. Here are clear signs your relationship would benefit from couples therapy.

Key takeaways:

  • You don’t need to wait until your relationship is at risk or in crisis to get help.

  • Couples therapy should be proactive – it’s for anyone who wants to explore how to have a healthy relationship.

  • There are common reasons people seek out couples therapy; sex and money are two of the biggest.

  • If you and your partner fight all the time or rehash the same issues repeatedly, it’s definitely time for outside intervention.

  • Learning how to have constructive conversations around finances can help you and your partner overcome money as an obstacle in your relationship.

  • There are many reasons things get boring in the bedroom, including mismatched libidos. Couples therapy can help you find and address your barriers to intimacy.

  • Recovering intimacy after infidelity is another reason couples seek out therapy.

Deciding to seek help for your problems can be challenging, especially when it comes to making an appointment for couples therapy. Both parties need to decide that they want help and be open to change. So, how do you know when it’s time to consider couples therapy?

Going to counseling might seem like an obvious choice once your relationship is in crisis, but you shouldn’t wait that long to seek help. Your relationship doesn’t have to be at risk to benefit from couples therapy. Even those who have no obvious relationship issues can benefit from it, as it can help teach couples how to have a healthy partnership.

There are some common reasons partners seek help. If you’re experiencing any of these in your relationship, it’s a clear sign that there’s room for improvement. Here are five signs you should seek couples therapy for your relationship.

1. You and your partner fight…a lot

If you and your partner are constantly fighting, it’s time to seek professional help. Couples will always have disagreements, but there’s a difference between disagreeing and arguing/fighting. Disagreements can be healthy…in fact, safety and secure attachments in relationships are strengthened by healthy conflict resolution processes. Fussing and fighting all the time is not healthy, however, and can take a toll on your mental and physical health.

Fighting a lot hints at bigger underlying issues. They could be that you and your partner have communication issues, aren’t being responsive to each other’s needs, or maybe that you just aren’t on the same page with regards to your relationship goals. In any case, constant bickering ultimately indicates a communication issue.

2. You keep having the same issues over and over

If you and your partner find yourselves dancing around the same issues over and over, it’s definitely time to take a deep dive with a professional to find out what’s going on. The fact that an issue keeps repeating itself means that it isn’t being resolved satisfactorily. Some issues that may constantly keep resurfacing could be the decision to have children, financial issues, or the way labor is split in the relationship.

Another reason couples have the same issue repeatedly is that they simply just aren’t compatible with each other. Realizing that sooner rather than later is important so that you don’t continue investing time into a relationship that’s likely going nowhere. Couples counseling can help you and your partner determine your compatibility if it's in question.

3. You’re not on the same page with regards to finances

The two biggest reasons couples fight? Sex and money. Whether you’re having a disagreement about money or are failing to have honest, open, and constructive conversations about finances, couples counseling can help.

Money can become a huge obstacle in relationships. Couples counseling can help navigate this sensitive subject. A therapist will help you and your partner set ground rules for financial discussions, as well as help you both set up a productive plan for having such conversations.

Ultimately, resolving financial dilemmas in a relationship at its root requires commitment and good communication – two things that couples counseling can help you and your partner work on.

4. Things are lacking in the bedroom

Besides money, sex is the other biggest issue couples fight about. Usually, one person wants more, and the other is unable or unwilling to indulge. There are many things behind this; it doesn’t mean you’re incompatible. You and your partner may have mismatched libidos, one of you may be experiencing physical or mental illnesses that impact their sex drive, or it may feel like the chemistry has fizzled. Sex therapy will explore issues with intimacy and sex.

While it may seem intimidating or embarrassing to talk about sex with a stranger, sex therapists receive special training to help you work through these problems. It’s also far more detrimental to go through life with a sex life that you’re unhappy with. Learning more about sex therapy may help you to feel more comfortable about seeking it out, so don’t hesitate to get educated on the topic.

5. There’s been infidelity

An affair is a major breach of trust in a relationship. After an affair, intimacy is almost always damaged – because, after all, intimacy requires trust. You – or your partner – may even be hesitant about continuing your relationship at all.

Remaining in the relationship and recovering intimacy is a process, and it will take work. It’s important to make a clear decision about whether you and your partner want to commit to doing that work or not. A specific form of couples counseling called discernment counseling can help you and your partner make a healthy decision about your relationship status and future together. Being ambiguous or indecisive only further hinders the healing process, so it’s important to make a conscious decision about how to move forward following an affair.

Get support from a qualified, caring therapist in the South Florida area

Attending couples therapy may seem intimidating at first, but it can really help strengthen the relationship between you and your partner. If you want to improve your communication skills, understand each other better, break repetitive patterns and roles in the relationship, or even talk about challenges with intimacy, couples therapy is a great option.

Couples therapy can also help partners cope with majo