The dreadful reality of a separation can be one of the most difficult times anyone can go through. Betrayals, breaches of trust, conflict, or affairs can often bring a once beautiful relationship to a sudden end. Regardless of the steps you and your partner decide to take, healing is a crucial component to learning how to navigate through these difficult times with grace and love. 


Divorce and Separations

Considering or going through the end of a relationship can be incredibly painful. Most of us imagine that marriages or relationships will last forever, and the end of such a union can be intensely distressing for everyone involved. While the issue of divorce is inevitably going to be challenging for whoever experiences or contemplates it, therapist can provide you with the tools and support needed to navigate this process.  Often, divorces come about as a result of a myriad of compounding factors; at other times, it might be single issue or event that ends a relationship.

What makes people divorce? Survey research suggests that a “lack of commitment” is the factor that ends most marriages. Statistics suggest that other common issues include conflict, domestic violence, addiction, cheating or one person feeling that the other does not contribute enough – this may be a matter of money, household matters of emotional input.

At times, however, couples simply find that they were ill-matched from the start; some grow apart with the passage of time. Most often, divorces don’t happen overnight and need to be considered as the result of multiple, complex and interacting factors. But divorce is not just about the relationship issues – which every relationship will have. It’s also about how these issues are addressed. Problematic styles of communication underlie nearly every breakup. 

When a partner cheats, one of the most challenging tasks for the hurt partner is to begin to make sense of things. The level of betrayal and broken trust can leave individuals debilitated, scarred and deeply hurt. ​

How do you keep trust alive in a relationship? It is built in small moments of connection between couples everyday. Did your spouse call stressed about an upcoming work presentation and you berated him for not studying hard enough? Did you notice your significant other teary-eyed over a fight she had with a friend and instead of consoling her you turned the other cheek? These seemingly small moments of disconnect – which signals to your partner that you are not there for me in my time of need- destroy a relationship’s foundation over time.


Both partners experience an array of feelings. Sadness, hurt, anger and resentment are a few of the most prominent for the hurt partner. Thoughts like, “How can I ever forgive him/her?” “Am I to blame? “Did I do something to cause this?” are common. Shame, embarrassment, defensiveness and often time’s relief are emotions that run rampant through the unfaithful partner’s consciousness. “I wanted to get caught,” or “I’m actually relieved that it’s finally out in the open” are common phrases from the affair partner. In this fragile state, the unfaithful partner has a very important role to play for the sake of saving the relationship. Putting their own feelings aside for the time being is critical so that they can tend to their hurt partner. This does not mean that they have to let go of their own reasons of neglect and loneliness about the relationship that lead them to be unfaithful. Indeed, it is absolutely paramount that the affair partner is able to talk honestly about how the affair came to be so as not to make the same mistake in the future, however tending to the hurt partner is of utmost importance during this stage.

Moving Forward:
Once the hurt partner is able to express their anger and disappointment- and the affair partner tends to them with compassion and genuine remorse- they begin to see that trust and healing are a possibility. Only then can the hurt partner begin to open up and understand their significant other’s side of things in order to see how the relationship was in jeopardy for infidelity. This is not to excuse the affair partner of their wrongdoing- they made an awful judgment call that threatened the entire well-being of the relationship- but it is an opportunity to shed light on how both partners can come together and work on building trust in sliding door moments of connection.



“We can’t communicate with each other” is probably the number-one complaint of most couples coming in for marriage counseling or couples therapy. The underlying issue can be about anything: Parenting, sex, money, priorities. But the result is the same — tense, frustrating moments for both of you. Many couples don’t even remember what half the fights are even about, just that communicating with their partner feels impossible.

Communication problems in relationships make even the simplest moments feel difficult, and like a new fight is always simmering under the surface. Even the most banal question, like “what do you want to do for dinner?” can turn into a conflict when you’re having a negative reaction to your partner’s tone of voice, or the way they respond to you (or don’t respond to you), or the assumptions they make, or the fact that there are unresolved hurts and resentments piling up between you.

While parents are often attempting to make sense of their relationship, the primary victims are sometimes the children involved because your role as parents shifts as you are struggling on your own to survive a separation or divorce . How divorce affects children of divorce is well documented. Although the amount of parental conflict kids are exposed to is more harmful than the actual event of divorce, the fact is that dealing with divorce is difficult for the whole family. Learn to navigate your role as a co-parent, while also taking care of yourself as an individual and healing through your separation or divorce. When mom and dad are ok the kids end up being ok as well.  

Healing Through The Affair

Ending Conflict

The Kids

Ponce de Leon

In the   

of the Gables

 Visit us at our Ponce de Leon location, right in the heart of Coral Gables. This location is literally steps away from amazing area restaurants, coffee shops and boutiques. Easy access with  parking garage for your convinience.

Miami Beach

Visit us at the Carillon Miami Beach Resort and Spa, where we can take advantage of the beautiful resort spaces, including quiet outside areas, gardens, beach, or in the privacy of our office. After your session, enjoy the rest of your day at the spa, on us. Valet parking is also included.

Ph. 786.571.4636 

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2525 Ponce de Leon Blvd 

Suite 300
Coral Gables, FL 33134

Carillon Miami Wellness Resort

6801 Collins Ave 4th FL 

Miami Beach, FL 33141

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